Missing Nancy Botwin

OMG.  No more Nancy Botwin.

Am I gonna have to grow up now?

Cause, see, no matter how curious my choices were, or - to some people - questionable, I could always tune into Weeds and watch Nancy make some exponentially unsound choices that made mine look like kindergarten drawings to her Rembrandts.  She knew how to f*ck some sh*t up.  For real.

Indestructible as a cartoon character, with mad Cali style - Nancy knew when to take sh*t and when to give it. (Yeah - I have totally not mastered that.)  Somehow managing to be sexy in every situation, whether she was doing a brick dance or being the new mom setting up her husband to take a huge fall.

Just finished watching Season 8, which was pretty great. As unreal as some of the plotlines could feel, the characters seemed to get much realer.  There were some awkward moments that felt ripped out of my own recent life, where I was literally like, "oh....maybe I shouldn't have said that..."

As her life is crumbling around her (again) someone close to her tells her she'll be fine and she's so strong, which makes her look like she's going to disintegrate right there onto the ground.  (In case you didn't know - not helpful - really not.  We know we'll be fine and we're strong.  It's everything in between now and then we're gonna hate like hell, and the becoming even stronger that makes it all awful - no one wants to be that strong and fine - it's a totally isolating universe unto itself.)

I'm not sure where I"ll get my dose of "Oh no, she didn't," but I'm thinking Carrie (Claire Danes) in Homeland.

Her own special kinda brilliant cray cray

Quote of the Week - Rosemurgy

“Having a core is to the apple
what having a core is to the body,
city, method, circumstances, endeavor.
Having a core is flower-shaped and hurts
in the way that having a shape hurts, which is to say
it hurts ironically, because to have limits
is not just to make a declaration upon a mountainside,
it is also to be the mountainside.”

— Catie Rosemurgy

All Objects Reveal Something about the Body

(thanks to Katelyn Lucas)

I had this moment, a few weeks ago, writing, where the word that just demanded me was "core."  It just insisted.  It was a clear message - I was neglecting my core.  I've always found Pilates super dull, but a girl has to keep her core strong in this world.  How else to extend outward?  Every dancer knows that.  I know that.  Somewhere, I lost it.

When you say core you are not just evoking our physical core - there is the core of our spirit, our core reasons for existing, the core is the place purpose springs from and the place that replenishes love.  It's where centre comes from and it's where chi resides.

Then this quote showed up on Katelyn's FB status and hit me.  I'd never heard of the writer, but I knew she was speaking to me.  That's what poetry does. It hits you in the core if it's the real.

Respect what comes from your core; respect what resounds within it. Strengthen it.  Build a fence around it if you have to, cause some people are coreless and will come try to take advantage of yours.  Let the right ones in, though, and get friendly with crunches.  ; )



Now listening:  Michael Kiwanuka on MBE 2012

Benjamin Button Backwards

Wow.  Things have really spun out the last 4 months.  And not in a good way!

I had to have a check in.  Look what I found:

Things to Remember in 2012

1.  Let go

2.  Relax

3.  Consider the source

4.  Work less

5.  Check actions with short and long-term goals

6.  Let it come to you

7.  Leave space

8.  Release the outcome

9.  Learn time

10. Allow the new; let the old fall away.

I am pretty sure I mighta posted these already at the beginning of the year.  Looking back at this list, I have to wonder if I didn't manage to devise some obstacles to get me back on track with some of these goals - apparently, I was slacking.  If so, I'm pretty harsh - I can manifest like a Muthafucka - cause I created some seriously tough stuff that has forced me into a place of doing the 10 things on this list.

So now - I gotta reverse the flow.  Cause it's felt like Benjamin Button* backwards this whole time.  So now I'm idling in neutral, seeing how I can put this thing back in gear.  

*Note - yeah, I haven't actually seen that whole movie, nor read it, but I get the idea.  Anyway, maybe I don't wanna know the end...

Quote of the Week - Angelou

“Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that's ego. Love liberates. It doesn't bind. Love says, ‘I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.’”

-Dr. Maya Angelou

"Let go" was on the top of my list of things to remember this year.  Even at the top of the list, it's easy easy easy to forget.

I don't think love means anything without containing the freedom to grow.  All love - not just romantic love - is about freedom in safety and safety in freedom.  If it isn't, well, it probably isn't love.


Let go.  All the way.  No cheatin'.

The Other 50% - Good news!

"...there is no denying the anecdotal evidence that a major generational transition is under way."

This article in The Hollywood Reporter details the recent surge in female showrunners, and that a continuation is inevitable.  I'm always wary of that sentiment - there have been downturns before - but it's comforting that Cynthia Littleton and AJ Marechal are willing to report it as such in the Women's Impact Report.